Voiceless
No one ever gave a voice to the voiceless so I had to claim mine.
This is my tagline
I exist because I resist
Survival is my badge of honour.
When you look at me you see past me
Coz you cant see my past and you never really asked
So let me introduce you to this outcast
I've nearly died more than once so I guess I'm running out of lives still
I have no regrets coz everyday I strive to be a better me.
Have you ever felt the pain of hunger?
There was a time my pockets were so empty I shared tables with the homeless
Cigarettes the best way to keep my hunger at bay
This was my first experience with less.
Less home, less family, less friends
But I didnt have a chance to be depressed when I had to figure out how I was getting my next meal.
At least I never had to steal and minimum wage kept a roof over my head.
Let's call this time, crawling, coz I hadn't learnt to walk
I was yet to start evolving.
Flash forward years later
And things are much better.
My hunger is for justice and to heal more than ever
I went back to university and became educated.
Travelled and became an educator.
Shared my knowledge in the margins with women who had less still.
No one ever gave a voice to the voiceless so I had to claim mine.
Have you ever been chained to your trauma?
A slave of my past, my present kept me trapped
Repeating the cycles until it all caught up.
Oh I've woken up in hell
In a cell with a bare matress on the floor
A cage with no windows,
And this ain't not metaphor
they passed me food through a hatch
Kept the door on a latch,
Sedated me for days, said I had a temper
Forced me to surrender and beg my God for Mercy
This is what they call help after you've been raped.
Let's call this time drowning, I'd been treading water so long it was time to start sinking
There was no escaping the darkness, depression became my shelter as my world became less centred
There was no one to reach out to and I had to make a choice
Decide if this would be the end
Is this life even worth the fight?
I had reached the end of my light
This time I really lost my voice and didnt even recognise my face.
But I chose survival be my revival
Saw every breath as a new step towards my recovery and walked my own pace
I took every chance to rediscover me
Rejected their medication and
Found motivation through my imagination
Daring to dream of a brighter future
Here I am still standing tall
That I'm here now is a testament to my
Resilience
Existence my form of resistance
Inspite all my trials I persist
Despite all the losses I see life as a gift
I look behind and I'm proud of all I've achieved and who I've become.
I found love as a wife and a mum
I'm a friend to many who dont even know my story
I've learnt not to say sorry for the woman that I am.
That my life is not a tragedy
That insanity provides a deeper insight
I have nothing left to prove except to my family
To promise that I will live more happily
That I can be better than the me I was yesterday.
Focus on vitality and spirituality
Be an inspiration to the future generation
Never be afraid to have this conversation
Let my story be the voice of the voiceless
